@Sassafrantz: Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame.
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@TechnicallyRon: A vegan walks into a bar and doesn't say anything because the person who has never seen star wars is going on about never seeing star wars.
@truegritrumble: (Disney Dating Tips) 1.Kidnap Dad 2.Coerce Daughter 3.Awkward music-filled dates 4.Angry mob danger 5.Stockholm Syndrome -Beauty & the Beast
@shashaintl: Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles.
@pinupteacher: Two people have knocked on my door this morning so I did what any grown adult would do and hid.