@Sassafrantz: Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame.
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@RexHuppke: God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony.
@CoopSoSarc: We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers.