@Sassafrantz: Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thepunningman: Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back Me: [loading hotdogs into shotgun] Those giraffes can't live on salad, Eleanor
@hunz74: A scientist said that fish will evolve into "flish" & will be able to fly. Now I can't stop thinking about "flarks, flhales & flea horses."
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs sent me this text: There's no wrong way to tell the person you love that their beautiful. Me: *they're.