@iscoff: Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. It's always the same angel. It's covered in wings now and wants to die but can't
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@ChaseMit: Just saw a guy riding a skateboard, holding a surfboard. Dunno where he's going but I assume there's Mountain Dew there.
@iTomFoolery: How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest.
@RideSallyRide69: Today I was on the treadmill for over an hour. I was so pleased with my progress that tomorrow I might actually turn it on
@tastefactory: VICTIM: He had a beard & a scar SKETCH ARTIST: Is this him? VICTIM: That's Bart Simpson SKETCH ARTIST: Yeah I can only draw a couple things