@wickedimproper: Every time "Cops" comes on I'm like "PLEASE don't show my episode."
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@KentWGraham: I’m starting to think my wife is only having sex with me to improve her FitBit stats.
@msdanifernandez: No mom, I can't date him. Well he took that which superhero are you quiz and well...*whispers* he got Daredevil.
@AnOrangeSNES: Photosynthesis is the process used by plants to convert a picture into a thousand words
@DaHess1: @BurgerKing I love the way all employees working the drive thru speak English as a 14th language. I just got a frog and an avocado.