@kelkulus: Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all.
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@The1WhosCrazy: The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it.
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Look, even if you could breathe underwater, no one wants to be Aquaman. 4yo: Who's Aquaman? Me: EXACTLY!