@MissHavisham: Every time I buy a fun new mug my mother yells “We have too many mugs!” & I yell “You suck the joy out of everything!” & she yells “Don’t say ‘suck’!” & I yell “I’m a grown woman!” & she yells “Then are you finally moving out of my house”
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@StinkyGr33n: I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*
@Sheila_Mac420: Sometimes, I just want to be taken seriously. And sometimes, I just want to be taken, seriously.
@KeetPotato: [tortoise arguing with his gf] "FINE IM LEAVING" FINE [6 minutes later] are you going or not? "THIS IS AS FAST AS I CAN GO KAREN"