@JessObsess: Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me.
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@Reverend_Scott: Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: "Whisky." Aquaman: "Appletini." "WHAT?" "It's vodka, apple schnapps..." "You're off the Justice League."
@PaulyPeligroso: A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird.
@undisturbedsoul: What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates : 1. Nice shirt 2. Wow, a second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.