@JessObsess: Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me.
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@ShortWhiteNUgly: I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music.
@BareChesty: Sorry I'm late, there was an octopus throwing pies at me so I was literally... Occupied
@Tmoney68: I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.
@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.