@JessObsess: Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me.
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@WGladstone: Lady Gaga got engaged on Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped ring, indicating her fiance shares her love for bold originality.
@LaziestCanine: [1st date] Maybe next time i could meet your dog [2nd date] Your dog is so cool [3rd date] Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you
@Supafunkadunka: Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on.