@Kali_Mura: Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
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@pauleggleston: I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!
@PostCultRev: [2054: We develop cheap cloning technology] [2055: Restaurant opens where you can have clones of yourself serve cooked clones of yourself]
@krautsider: Top 4 horrified face expressions: 4. dragged away by crocodile 3. stabbed by serial killer 2. mauled by bear 1. no toilet paper
@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”