@Kali_Mura: Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
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@SimplyRetard: "*RING**RING* in the middle Of night! "Hello?" "Hey man are you home?" "No dude i just picked up my house phone from Burger King."
@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.
@chuuew: SEA LION 1: "More like shark *weak* amirite?" SEA LION 2: "Hahaha" SHARK: "Hey guys, what ya watching?" [Sea lions jump onto ceiling fan]