@Kali_Mura: Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
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@behindyourback: While I appreciate that you're bringing sexy back, if we're not also discussing who took sexy away, we're only enabling future sexy problems
@TheRolo: Table for six please? "Is your party coming soon or?" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats
@KalvinMacleod: [dating game] GIRL: contestant #1 tell me how u would woo me ME: woo like in duck tales woo woo or a different type of woo? G: contestant #2
@bulls_horns: 25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated.