@KayRants: Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
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@UniqueDude2: [dinosaur naming committee] TERRY: and we will call the flying one the Terodactyl PTERRY: I've got a crazy idea
@1_swarthy_dude: You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince.
@TheSharona06: Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you.
@doguacate: when interviewing a person for a dog walking position, you must make absolutely certain that given the chance, the applicant won't eat a dog