@LeahGoRound: Every time I get out of a small car it looks like a giraffe being born.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."
@trentistweeting: [all the dairy products r hanging out] Milk: lets go drink Cheese: yea Yogurt: yea Whipped cream: my gf says i cant. its scrapbooking night
@BonaFideIntent: Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that.
@sofarrsogud: OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY BOSS: I don't know you. Do you work here? ME: *sips wine* No. HIM: So your wife does? ME: *sips his wine* Again no.