@LeahGoRound: Every time I get out of a small car it looks like a giraffe being born.
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@JackieMartling: A couple's having breakfast. He says, "Were you faking it last night?" She says, "No, I was really asleep."
@liv_thatsme: "Thinking of getting a tattoo" Me: K "Thinking of getting some wallpaper" Me: NO! YOU'LL REGRET IT EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!