@_wangwe: Every time I go into my boss' office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
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@AIanHangover: Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.
@ohthatbadger: They agreed upon 'almond milk' when the original name – flavoured nut water – was rejected by test audiences, for whatever reason…
@AimeeHelene1: *yells at husband* I can't make it fit! It won't fit! Him: Just turn it a little. Me: *screams in excitement* We finished the puzzle!!
@TomTheWicked: Don't blame me. You're the one following a 32 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.