@_wangwe: Every time I go into my boss' office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
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@dafloydsta: I lost my job today "What? How?" I just wasn't a good housekeeper "BUT YOU'RE A BEEKEEPER" Well that explains all the screaming
@ibid78: [God waking up with a hangover] last night was a blur. Whose prayers did I answer? [sees Trump leading in the polls] uh oh
@_sweet_ham: Sometimes I put my workout gear on and watch tv because it's the thought that counts.