@FrancescaDykes: Every time I open my mouth, some idiot starts talking.
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@jwoodham: Can't wait to say "I haven't seen you since last year!" to everyone I see next week. I'm a very popular person with thousands of friends.
@gmossii: Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh
@iGreenMonk: There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you.