@mrtimlong: Every time I raise my arm a little, a falcon lands on it. It was super-cool at first, but now I'm starting to get annoyed.
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@ArfMeasures: "Some people call me the space cowboy" *leans in* "Some people call me the gangster of love" BARISTA: I'm just gonna put Steve on the cup
@_NoOneYouKnow__: Neighbor: hey just so you know I invited Dan to the dinner party! Me: cannibal Dan or Dan who can’t spell? *phone chimes* [Text from Dan] I can’t wait to meat your friend tonight! Neighbor: yeah I’m not sure