@ShittyComedian: Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers.
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@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.
@vladchoc: Your first instinct is gonna to be to spell “leopard” and “deaf” correctly. You’re going to want to resist that. – Best band manager ever.
@Awk0Tacoo: I can't get mad when I hear babies screaming in public because honestly, I feel the same way sometimes.
@kelkulus: Revenge idea if a girlfriend dumps you: sneak into her house, tighten the lids on all her jars.