@ShittyComedian: Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers.
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@KentWGraham: Get your employees to work harder by “accidentally” leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff.
@myles_morrison: Any girl who says she's not the jealous type will change her tune when another girl phones you drunk at 3am.
@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.