@mlkef: Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero.
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@Leemanish: There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face.
@man_spach: My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
@daemonic3: REALTOR: This community has a great neighborhood watch WIFE: [sees me suddenly excited] Don't you dare ME: WHO DECIDES WHO GETS TO WEAR IT