@mlkef: Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero.
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@NicestHippo: "So did you get lucky last night?" You better believe it! [flashback to me making all green lights omw home after girl refused to kiss me]
@EndhooS: Me: sorry I can't make it to your party tonight but I'm kinda popular & I can't jeopardise that by being seen with you.. Daughter: wtf dad?
@Reverend_Scott: [several months ago] BEYONCÉ: Kim Kardashian might be having a 3RD baby JAY-Z: How many we got BEYONCÉ: One JAY-Z: Not a problem