@waydybee: Every time i tell people i want to be a comedian they laugh. See, im that good!!
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@Glove_Monkey: Someone once told me "If you love something, set it free". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement.
@cupcakelynda: My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
@wesjohnson8: "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."