@Oncefallen: Every time I think I've got the perfect family they escape.
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@shkeeber: Any question is a hard hitting question when it's written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
@jackmackenroth: I was out with my bf and a waiter called me a 'cradle robber' cuz he's 18 and I'm 43. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.
@krisv_723: *Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?
@Pauly_Miller: If you ever doubt the value of writers, just follow your favorite actor on Twitter.