@corinnemlwsw: Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it's an intervention.
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@teacup_giraffe: Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say "What's up, Chad?" & he'll be all "Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"
@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
@MichaelTrying: Dear Evolution, It’s a conference call, not a bear attack. How about making me super eloquent instead of the heart rate and adrenaline?