@Crunch11b: Every time I'm around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
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@jonnysun: being in a hamock is so comfortabel bc it replicates our condition before birth: being caried to earth inside the beak of a giant pelican
@SadMeterologist: -I heard this dog was chipped. -Microchipped sir. -I don't care how small the chip is, I'm not paying full price.
@RealFartShady: I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended.