@LoveNLunchmeat: Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
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@Kyle_Lippert: NOAH'S GOOGLE HISTORY 1) What is an ark? 2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark? 4) Are snakes necessary? 5) Is god real or am I high?
@WeissBrandon: Oh no sir, that shark wasn't attacking me, my wife was yelling at me from the shore so I was just trying to swim into his mouth.
@TheGladStork: Sorry I panicked and told your kids that Santa is able to visit every house in one night because he does meth.
@myonlymizztake: Autocorrect changed fries to friend and I think I've offered to eat my friend. I'm not sure if I should clarify, or see where it goes.