@MBittersweet25: Every time my Father in law gets trashed, he asks if I've lost weight... So naturally I bring a bottle of scotch every time we visit.
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@autocorrects: You're 15 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 2 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating dirt.
@MamaHuntsBest: IDGAF if you're black, white, yellow, brown or blue. Well, I do if you're blue, I'll stop and give you CPR if you're blue.
@slimpickins_: The problem with studying ancient Chinese art is I want some Mexican art a half an hour later.
@liv_thatsme: Me *gets interrupted mid-sentence* "Oh, hey sorry; finish your story." Me *employing my usual level of maturity*: No I don't want to now.