@MBittersweet25: Every time my Father in law gets trashed, he asks if I've lost weight... So naturally I bring a bottle of scotch every time we visit.
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@kimmie_1980: Level of singleness: yelling, "pizza's here!" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me...
@hayes_t_r: *puts on layers of running gear* *makes a ponytail* *laces up sneakers* *drives to McDonalds*
@GuyThe_Guy: Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999. No seriously, Greg's been in a coma for 14 years. We'll tell him that shit tomorrow night though.