@shegotagronk: Every time my gf stays over we reenact the last scene from Titanic. She hogs 99% of the bed while I'm in the floor hanging on for dear life.
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@Social_Mime: Middle of the night In bed: *Loud noise* Wife - Did you hear that? Me - Wife - I said did you hear that? Me (under the bed) - Yes
@jonnysun: 4 out of 5 dentists agree u should not be going to 5 diferent dentists. it is important to have one dentist who knows ur dental history
@tracietom: My son had to take our cat to the vet and was too embarrassed to say the cat's name was Pablo Purrcasso and he just said the cat's name was Greg.
@TheCiscoKidder: I have no problem feeding my kid something that fell on the floor, so I get it, restaurant employees.