@shegotagronk: Every time my gf stays over we reenact the last scene from Titanic. She hogs 99% of the bed while I'm in the floor hanging on for dear life.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AlexvanBeek: Murder is like art, as long as you can bullshit your way into justifying it, someone out there will be like "oh yeah, I totally get it."
@PaperWash: me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol
@bytaylorcox: A "lady" and a "woman" are exactly the same thing unless they are prefaced with cat.
@daplusk: 'When I go to the bathroom at work and someone follows me in' Doctor: I meant is there anything worrying you, physically