@daliamalek: Every time someone makes a typo, I look at the location of the letters on the keyboard to consider whether it's justified.
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@BuckyIsotope: *learns all Froot Loops are the same flavor regardless of color* *sighs* *sadly deletes 583 page PhD thesis*
@Eightinchgoat: My son asked me what language they speak in England. This would have been cute if he wasn't 20 ... And in college.
@rachelle_mandik: CHILD: goodnight earth, goodnight stars, goodnight orb MOM: no it's goodnight moon, honey ORB: t h i s c h i l d w i l l b e s p a r e d
@CroweJam: The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods.