@KalvinMacleod: Every time someone tells you they are a vegan an angel eats a dog.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 3 year old is helping me make crepes this morning. So far in the mixing bowl there are 2 eggs, 1 cup of flour and 1 measuring cup.
@SondraDeeMe: [home] FRIEND: How'd family dinner go? ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.
@CloydRivers: Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica.