@Maxine12339: Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
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@pixelatedboat: When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton.
@XplodingUnicorn: God: I made something new. It's like a tornado, but smaller. Angel: What do you call it? God: A toddler.
@mommy_cusses: Let me tell you how you lost this game according to these rules I've just made up. -Kids when you play board games together.
@Donna_McCoy: You don't hear much about Snow White's eighth dwarf, but they should never have trusted Clumsy with an axe.