@PlatinumShower: Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks.
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@OhHiAlyPie: Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
@PaperWash: I was bit by a radio active spider so now I wear a rubber suit, swing around like a monkey and use karate, you know, like a spider.
@Tharin_P: I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, "omg i'm so ugly" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away.