@HeyJennyLeone: Every time this gets RTed a member of Congress gets kicked in the groin.
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@WilliamRodgers: This kid at the Bar just told me Nickelback is a better band than Metallica.... Long story short....Send bail money...
@Carbosly: If there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm becoming a zombie. Walking around doing nothing & eating non-stop seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.
@Jesssicle: Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex.
@Shut_up_Marissa: In sign language, the story of my life can be told through a series of facepalms.