@DaddysinCharge: Every time we take our dog to obedience school I can't help but think about everything that we did wrong when we were training our kids.
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@mustachewine: I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached.
@ThatScoop: Guy: What do you do? Me: I tell jokes on Twitter G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself? Me: I tell myself that they're good jokes
@dubsteppenwolf: every time someone says "don't give homeless people money, they'll spend it on drugs" it's like... so will I though??