@YouWillGo2Hell: Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.
@kwkorpi: My dog just winked at me, and now I'm wondering just exactly what the two of us are keeping from the rest of the family.
@BigBec43: There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed