@Michael_Erhart: Every time you push the potato button on your microwave, a potato appears in someone else's microwave.
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@DanMentos: just taught my 3yo to sing "if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands" and then laugh at the people clapping
@A_SmartAss: I googled "where do ninjas live?" no results were found. Well played ninjas. Well played.
@tastefactory: I left a trail of rose petals leading to the bed and on the bed was a note that said "This is what happens to roses who cross me"
@QwertyJones3: The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head.