@sirjoancornella:

@abbycohenwl: Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes

@StormErika: People keep escaping from maximum security jails and I can't even manage to leave 5 minutes early from work.

@ImFordTough: In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.

@TylerLinkin: I call realtors advertising on bus stop benches and ask them the bus schedule.