@MrGeorgeWallace: Every time you think Florida can't top itself. BAM!
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@mattZillaaaa: *changes voicemail recording to "your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again
@AmishPornStar1: Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.
@timdonakowski: After weeks of being called lazy, not only did I put up all our Christmas decorations today, I also took them down.