@LurkAtHomeMom: Every vote counts! Unless you forget to post your I voted sticker on Facebook, those ballots get thrown into an incinerator.
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@HockeyGoddess24: Hey guys listen up: your girlfriend doesn't want to talk about your wife. Ever!!
@PaperWash: cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure
@Amusitr0n: Alien Archeologist: this human was buried covered in chicken bones, we theorize he believed in a poultry afterlife. Me: (25,000 years earlier, climbing into a KFC dumpster in the dead of night)