@GingerGander: Every year, falling coconuts kill more people than shark attacks, but the families of the shark victims are less embarrassed.
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@ClamDive: Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says "Previously on wasted potential..."
@NicestHippo: If you think you're bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: It says you're here for a blood test. First, some questions. Number one: over the last six months who's been a good boy?