@dizzydes86: Everybody always says they want a fairytale wedding, but when I show up and curse their newborn, suddenly I'm a jerk.
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@vinnycrack: the best insult ever is "who is this clown" because 1. you're calling them a clown 2. you're saying they're not even a well known clown
@Keys_ToMe: I love to watch the look of panic on my husband's face when I pull a pair of panties out of my drawer and say, "um, these aren't mine."
@ManvAlcohol: I'm just saying, if I were a bomb maker, I would make all the wires the same color.