@robfee: Everybody at this intervention is telling me I have a drug problem but I'm not the one with a melting eagle face & gyrating serpent arms.
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@AmishPornStar1: Financial Tip: When laundering money, always separate the bills from the coins and use the delicate cycle with a gentle detergent.
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.
@SEvans_author: Karate Kid taught an entire generation that there is nothing that dedication, perseverance, and an illegal kick to the face can't solve
@sofarrsogud: My son, Luke, loves how I named all my kids after Star Wars characters. My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.