@13spencer: Everybody is a kid of some decade, but "90's kids" are the only ones who are annoying about it.
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@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, "So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."
@LaBaPete: Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there.
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: Please stop. ME: Stop what? WIFE: Singing in the shower. ME: What's the big deal? WIFE: You're scaring everyone at Home Depot.
@slimmy_shady: I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.