@TedOfficialPage: Everybody is tweeting "OMG I CANT BELIEVE ITS MARCH", I'm like tf' you you think came after February ? February Jr.?
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@Dutch_50: Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Me: Labels are for soup cans Survey: Can you tell us which way you're leaning? Me: Clam chowder
@just1fool: I'm excited for the zombie apocalypse so I can trap famous dead celebrities and make the best Broadway show ever assembled.
@trevso_electric: One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high.