@TedOfficialPage: Everybody is tweeting "OMG I CANT BELIEVE ITS MARCH", I'm like tf' you you think came after February ? February Jr.?
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@Mr_Bucky: My weird paranoid neighbor, shreds all her mail and closes all the shades. But never locks her basement window.
@iGreenMonk: I dont care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it
@AaronFullerton: I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's "sushi," but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's "a shark attack."