@david8hughes: Everybody mad at me like it's common knowledge to wait til after the eulogy before you start clapping. Sorry I didn't go to funeral college.
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@Parker_Simpson: If ur a guy riding on a motorcycle with another guy, it's best to sit facing each other. 1 man mounted behind another that just looks bad
@ruraljules: Relationship status~ Siri saw my browser history & now she isn't talking to me either
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
@TwiCarlyGleeber: Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one