@BellesJar: Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly.
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@crylenol: *Ouija board begins spelling* H-A-V-E_S-O-M-E "Ooooh, spooky" G-R-A-N-D-C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N "Dammit Grandma, haunt someone else"
@novicefather: A breakfast buffet at my funeral so people will be happy. But with soy bacon and chia seed pancakes so they know it's a time to grieve.
@spcycucumber: Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You'd think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated