@BellesJar: Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly.
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@InternetHippo: "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to myself, in all other situations
@ruinedpicnic: me: wow a pegasus flying horse: actually Pegasus was just one horse we all have different names me: oh whats yours flying horse: Pegasus 2
@burntmybagel: My chiropractor told me I have to stop using air quotes when I call him "doctor."
@WilliamRodgers: Waitress: And what can I get for you, hon? Jesus: I'll have........ (snickering) a water