@BLoveAffair: Everybody wants to be wanted, except maybe fugitives.
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@QwertyJones3: The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head.
@J0hnnyBlaze: Me: "Excuse me, hi" Her: "Um, I have a boyfriend" Me: "Good for you. I was trying to say your herpes cream fell out of your purse"
@Sickayduh: "Oooh look! Is that a comet?" - Well, actually the airport is real close by "Oh ok. Good idea. I'll call them and ask"