@BLoveAffair: Everybody wants to be wanted, except maybe fugitives.
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@ClaytonSykes: I was simply stating that your crying child MIGHT fit comfortably in the overhead compartment, lady. #butseriously
@KalvinMacleod: [me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.