@gvicks: Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes......
@ZAKagan: BARBER: would you like a hot towel?
ME: buddy, I don't objectify towels
@LMLMadness: Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed.
@karri_leigh: My daughter is playing "you can't find me, Mommy"... I'm playing "I'm not trying, Suckaaaa".
@JoshVeyssi: McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in the wrong stuff that they gave you at the 2nd window.
@Strippers_Diary: "Can I buy you a drink?"
"I'd rather just have the money"