@filmbizpro: "Everyday I'm shoveling" - Canadians Theme Song.
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@Colton_James8: [restaurant] chemist 1: I’ll have some H2O chemist 2: I’ll have some H2O also chemist 2’s arch nemesis disguised as a waiter: [under breath] so close....
@roostermustache: [on a date with a teacher] Me: your eyes are beautiful Her: yours too Me:*leans in, whispers* can i kiss you Her: i don't know CAN YOU
@Shenaniglenns: [God inventing pain] God: This is how humans will know they need to heal physically. Angel: But how will they know if they need emotional healing? God [inventing Linkin Park]: worry not
@TattleTSister: Him: These candles are so romantic! Me: They’re necessary for my human sacrifice ritual.