@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@stevevsninjas: [driving date home] me: where do I drop you off? her: here is fine me: you live on the beach? her: *walks into sea*
@GingerAtLaw: You'd think the people in front of me at this self-checkout were trying to operate a nuclear reactor
@wastefulthinker: Me: "Hey Siri, I nee-..." Siri: "Nice try, humanoid. The women warned me. I have a boyfriend."
@AndrewNadeau0: Just realized I haven't fed my imaginary friends since a tea party when I was 6 so they're all dead now.