@weinerdog4life: Everyone at the office is going crazy because I faxed someone a hot dog
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@what_eve_r: my aunt: why u kids always on them phones cant u have a real conversation me: *puts down phone* *crosses legs* why did u melt the ice caps
@FullMetalMommy: My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn.
@OneFunnyMummy: Silent Night is my favorite song about my kids staying at their grandparent's house.
@leechee420: You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose "creepy weird dude."