@juliussharpe: Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
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@AristotlesNZ: Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide.
@elizabeth_fels: Romeo possum: [kissing] You're so hot Juliet possum: [plays dead] Romeo possum: Not cool, babe
@Brianhopecomedy: Bought an ice cream cake and the cashier told me to keep it in the freezer until serving as it will melt. I gotta start dressing smarter.
@1Happytwit: I like to skip when I'm carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.