@juliussharpe: Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [watching "Cinderella"] 5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors? Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.
@Parentpains: Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house.