@DanDoofus: Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever wants to sacrifice a virgin about it.
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@Parentpains: Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep.
@noogscorner: Hendrix didn't need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
@QwertyJones3: A girl called me "sir" today and I was so angry I took off my suit of armor and stormed out of Medieval Times.