@DannyZuker: Everyone else could have their eyes shut, runny noses and food in their teeth but if I look thin, it's a GREAT group photo.
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@rockymomax: [having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!
@WilliamAder: Bought a cat collar with a bell on it, and now I can't sneak up on the cat to put it on her.
@radtoria: I accidentally answered my phone & panicked when I heard someone say "hello?" so I just did the best I could & made the fax machine noise.