@DannyZuker: Everyone else could have their eyes shut, runny noses and food in their teeth but if I look thin, it's a GREAT group photo.
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@1Bad_Scientist: Me: how was your date? Friend: I ruined her panties. M: Wow that's hot man. F: No she got food poisoning from my cooking, bro.
@Douchekevin: Anyone who says 'they wish they could be a fly on the wall' has clearly never been attacked by a woman with a rolled up newspaper.
@ladybroseph: *drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*
@briancthayer: Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack