@SaveItForFest: Everyone hates their job until someone brings cupcakes in.
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@KenJennings: LIFE HACK tell the hotel you forgot your toothbrush. They don't even check, they just give you a brand new one!!! It's so sweet
@SortaBad: Superman: I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive- Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown
@GuttaLikeNoOtha: My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man. Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both