@electrolemon: everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)
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@jazmasta: if ur date declines a kiss at the end of the night open ur mouth and let the ants escape. Then say "it's ok I had a mouthful of ants anyway"
@iamWillemDafoe: oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight
@justabloodygame: As Caesar dies on the Senate floor, 'With or Without You' starts to play. "U2, Brutus?" He sighs, coughing wearily as the world fades away.
@thejessbess: A rap song where I'm just telling my dog about my day & I keep rhyming with "treats" so he stays interested.