@electrolemon: everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)
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@thejamietighe: *cop pulls me over* Cop:Had a bit to drink tonight? Me:What makes you think I've been drinking? *cop leans over and turns off lawnmower*
@theshamingofjay: Whenever I see an account with a persons full name I always check to see if they're famous or stupid
@attsmcjay: Hubs: " Few glasses of wine tonight hun"? Me: " Yeah, I had a glass of red" Hubs : " Just one eh" Me: " Well I use the same glass"