@just1fool: Everyone is a genius until they try to use their friend's microwave.
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@IvoryGazelle: [work phone rings] Customer: I realize ur closing but I just have a quick question "Good, because it's 4:59 and I-" Now, it all started back in '82 when I had my knee replacement surgery
@marcusparkersol: If you hate Capitalism so much, then just write everything in lower case. Problem solved.
@EdgarAllanLo: Me: You can't honestly expect me to believe this house isn't haunted; I can see the ghost walls from here. Realtor: Those are windows.