@TravLeBlanc: Everyone is just looking for that special someone who could do way better but chooses not to for some inexplicable reason.
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@MandiAtRandom: Don't describe two completely different things as "apples and oranges" they're both fruit Say something like "elephants and crystal meth"
@iGreenMonk: Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight.
@PinkCamoTO: *interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here.